Angela Evangeline Kwan

Hi, I'm Angela Evangeline Kwan, more affectionately known as gel and lala. I was born on 27th February 1991. My hobbies include playing the piano, singing, songwriting, baking and shopping. My dream? To start a family, be a loving and understanding wife, an inspiring and authoritative mother, a filial and obedient daughter. Oh, and perhaps to sing the songs that I've written or maybe start some bakery cafe.

My 21st
Part 1
Part 2
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Part 4

New Year's Resolution

Make Mont Blanc
Make a difference in someone's life
Do something big before I'm 21 (Never did that...)
Tone up
Visit somewhere new

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Blogs I visit in my free time

My kitchen experiments

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© Gel 2011
Image credit: San-X
Edited by Yours Truly

Just these days in a glance ☆ 2012/02/02

Firstly, to the one who I'm now unable to convey birthday wishes annually due to unforeseen circumstances, Happy Birthday. As you mature this year, I hope you'll also be more joyful and happier.

Secondly, Ryan's back from Hokkaido! He went there for cny hols and we had lunch/brunch at Newton Market on Sunday after he returned. Quite nice of him to drive us there though he was in a hurry to go off after that. I had to go home early too.

After which, Mel and I collected our dance shoes =) So happy. They're pretty and really high. 3.3inch =.= But we had to make do with it cos the factory was closed for cny and we couldn't get our shoes before the performance. Gathering at Ben's place was rather interesting. Mel, Tong, Marilyn and I all brought desserts, namely, jelly hearts, jelly, cheesecake and panna cotta. Haha~ It was like dessert buffet-cum-steamboat thing. We all have plenty of joy and laughter and it was a really good evening. Went home rather late but oh wells.

Thirdly, I've been tired these days doing work, preparing for classes, conducting lab, marking assignments, rehearsing for performance. We've more or less finalized partners for the performance. Of course, there were people who were happy and those who were not so happy with the arrangements and the neutral mixed feelings ones. Me? I'm just mixed feelings. It's not too bad cos someone has to do this. Perhaps it's jsut excuses to make me more accepting? There's only that many senior guys and this many senior girls. In a way, I'm pretty glad I didn't have to do guy's footwork, though I'm not able to dance with my preferred partner. However, that wasn't my priority. I'm pretty glad that my priority was satisfied so it's pretty ok =) Just to settle the partner issues now with the rest who are not too happy/mixed feelings.

On another note, I dislike being termed 'talented' and would prefer being called 'have the ability to ...'. However, in recent days, I think even the mere thought of having the ability to do something is very scary. I think my willingness in doing some things and ability to do them has probably led to all these? Cos for salsa, I learnt to do the guys' part, especially the first part of the choreography so that I could lead the girls to do it so they have more opportunities to practise with a partner and I almost had to be a guy for the lack of guys. People always say I'm talented cos I can do the guys' part but it's not a talent, it's not even an ability that I like that much as I have to do the guys part if there's not enough guys and girls don't want to learn the guys part. I need to thank Daelus for insisting on me doing the girls' part cos if he hadn't, I might just be doing the guys' part for the performance.

Also, for sat, there was a severe shortage of guys at intermediate class so I offered to be guy under Elliot's suggestion too. I didn't really mind it that much as the girls, but me, will get to practise. I guess I don't need that much practise cos I usually autopilot pretty well. So after I danced with Mel, I rotated to Liting and she was like "Hey Guy" to which, I told her it's not like I wanted to be guy. I want to be a girl! I want to do the girls' part and look good like all girls. I want to shine too! But what can I do when there's a sever shortage of guys and I'm the only girl who can and partially willing to do it? True, it might not be much of a difference if I'm the girl cos there's so many girls anyway, but to me, the other new girls will have one more person to practise with.

Which is why I'm in a hate/love relationship with this ability of mine. It's not a good thing and neither is it that bad an ability.

Which is also why I can't find a more competent guy than me. Perhaps it's just better for me not to drive so that there's at least one area in which a guy can be more competent than me... Imagine if I had to keep driving a guy ard cos he can't drive. As a friend, I probably won't mind that much, but as a lifelong partner, I think I want a more competent one. It's almost like for once, I just want to be the sparkling accessory of a sparkling guy who is financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually stable. As materialistic as it may be, I just want a good life, dependable husband, a family of my own..

True, Ryan drives pretty much every time we go out for meals these days since he got his license and I do think that I may get complacent and take it for granted if we always do that. It'll build this expectation of "going out with Ryan means he'll drive" which I don't want. It's nice to travel in a car especially to remote and hard to access places. It's nice to eat at fancy places which I've not tried before. It sounds materialistic, yet as a person in reality, I have to be like this. I can't say I'm not materialistic at all and that I don't mind any guy. It's against my integrity.

I think I might be better off on the shelf.. Reluctantly.

♥*~(o ^ - ^ o)~*☆
Gel

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